Tick Tock

The race is on. In a few hours, the year 2005 will be non existent. How can that be? Just last month it seemed like it was a new year! Months go by like weekends for me. I have a busy life; there's always more that I want to do. Making "new year resolutions" is an ongoing task for me all year. The dreamer I am wants to explore and experience the unknown in the short life I have. I fear that there's not enough time. The wise saying "live your life as if it was your last day" comes to mind which is not a bad idea.
Will you be fullfilling your dreams this year? I know I will keep trying.

Best wishes for a healthy and Happy New Year, 2006

Stressful Listening

Someone slams the door - I jump, startled.

I'm at a party or with a group and the hum of people talking grows louder and louder. It gets uncomfortable - I might leave.

After a lengthy conversation I learn someone has been telling me about their garden, while I've been discussing bargains.

Everyone is listening to someone tell a joke, suddenty everyone bursts into laughter except me. I didn't hear the punch line.

I'm introduced to a pipe-smoking stranger or a person with a mustache - my heart sinks at the thought that I might not understand him or be able to read his lips.

I think I heard my name and someone saying something to me, but I was concentrating on something else and may not know where the sound was coming from. Then the speaker shouts the request again, irritated that I haven't responded, causing me to feel startled and embarrassed.

Yes - I wish people would understand how I feel. I wish someone would clue me in to the topic of conversation, especially when I go on about something unrelated! I wish someone would repeat or tell me the punch line, avoid slamming the door, remove the pipe from his mouth, get my attention before speaking. I want to be involved in the life around me but sometimes the failures are too many so I decide to stop trying. Communication becomes exhausting and "more trouble than it's worth", "not worth the effort", "too embarrassing", or "too dangerous a situation to not hear well".

Back to the topic of Hearing Loss

Earlier I wrote "20/20", about how hearing aids do not cure hearing loss. Although aids usually amplify all sounds, the aid does not give one truly "normal hearing". The volume level and ability to tell the difference between sounds are both affected. One is left to develop skills in relying on visual clues from lip reading, body language, and previous knowledge of the topic. He/she may not understand the context the words are being used in but tries to follow the conversation and make "good guesses" about what is being said. I call this "filling in the puzzle". Inconsistency is what gets us into trouble. It is hard for people to understand why we can communicate well sometimes but not others.
Hearing people are usually unfamiliar with these skills mentioned and communication strategies used. Most do not realize the concentration a hearing impaired person needs to communicate and the stress it causes. As for me, my eyes get tired as well. I may be silently saying to myself, "Do you have to talk so much or so long?!!!)

To My Blog Readers

To those of you following my blog I thank you for reading. I hope I have entertained you with my attempts at poking fun at the hearing impaired with light humor. And I would be delighted to know that you are gaining an insight of the non hearing world with the informational articles I've written.

From time to time I intend to deviate from this topic to "toot my horn" which could be anything beyond your dreams (and mine too!)

Best Wishes for happy reading.
Cathy

Merry Christmas!!!!

This was sent to me from the Internet.

Lately I have been hearing so darn much about how
no one says Merry Christmas anymore that I had to
take a few moments and think about this.

I wonder if we as Christ-based believers aren't
getting too caught up in the words and completely
forgetting the spirit that Christ Jesus came to
earth to teach us.

Didn't He come to teach us about
love................ unconditional love?

I feel SURE that He did not want the celebration
of His birth to be about judgement. and anger over
a greeting.

Christmas is an inward experience of being,
made manifest in an outward display of love for
ALL of Gods creations.
NOT just the select few Christians... and I use
that term loosely.

Many profess with their lips to be
Christians...yet their behaviors profess
differently. Including my own on occasion.

We as Christ-based believers are turning the
Holiday season into a religious war.

We Christians do NOT own the holiday season.
For crying out loud.... aren't we missing the
point folks???

Time to get over ourselves and perhaps stop being
so damn pious.
When you can feel and be in the spirit of
Christmas all 365 days of the year...THAT is when
you have truly understood the teachings of Christ
Jesus.

So from me to you...Happy whatever you want to
call it....just please, celebrate by ceasing the
bitching and judging and missing the brotherhood
of sharing this space we call Earth. By all this
rhetoric we are avoiding the MOST important thing
of the season.
Peace on Earth and Good Will To Men and Women.

Do you REALLY think He would be concerned if we
say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

The words don't really matter.....it's the SPIRIT
of our heart-felt love does.
Why fight over words.
I have a feeling Jesus The Christ would tell us
all to chill out and LOVE ONE ANOTHER.

Still feel that saying Merry CHRISTmas is the ONLY
way of showing that you are a Christian?????
Well if so please think again and go find that
dusty old Bible you probably haven't read for a
long time... perhaps ever... and turn to
Peter 1:5-11 5 For this very reason, make every
effort to supplement your faith with goodness,
goodness with knowledge, 6 knowledge with
self-control, self-control with endurance,
endurance with godliness, 7 godliness with
brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with
love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are
increasing, they will keep you from being useless
or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus
Christ. 9 The person who lacks these things is
blind and shortsighted, and has forgotten the
cleansing from his past sins. 10 Therefore,
brothers, make every effort to confirm your
calling and election, because if you do these
things you will never stumble. 11 For in this way,
entry into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ will be richly supplied to you.

Hebrews 13:1-17 1 Let brotherly love continue. 2
Don't neglect to show hospitality, for by doing
this some have welcomed angels as guests without
knowing it.

2 Thessalonians 1:1 2 Grace to you and peace from
God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 We are
bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it
is fitting, because your faith grows exceedingly,
and the love of every one of you all abounds
toward each other, 4 so that we ourselves boast of
you among the churches of God for your patience
and faith in all your persecutions and
tribulations that you endure,

1 Peter 1:13 22 Since you have purified your souls
in obeying the truth through the Spirit F4 in
sincere love of the brethren, love one another
fervently with a pure heart,

Christmas vs Happy Holidays...it's become a
war....... and what a sorry ass thing that is!
Shame on us all.

Loud Music is damaging

From Earth Times, December 19, 2005

Ear buds : Whats loud music today may fall on deaf ears tomorrow

Author : Pat Fryer

Playing music on mp3 players, iPods and other portable music players may be catching on but so is the potential of such daily doses of audio through earbuds in damaging hearing says a study. According to Dean Garstecki, anaudiologist at Northwestern University, it could be much worse as ear buds amplify audio signals by six to nine decibels, with even the potential to cause permanent loss of hearing.

The report that appears online on the site of the Newswise wire service hints at damages to hearing that can arise from the increased use of iPods and MP3 players with a need to warn people about it. Garstecki equates the ear buds amplifying ability to "the difference in intensity between the sound made by a vacuum cleaner and of a motorcycle engine". He recommends,"One should use the devices at 60 percent maximum volume no more than an hour daily. Better yet, try muff-type or noise-canceling headphones".

Besides intense sound, the music playing devices of today afford long hours of listening with their extended battery life and huge storage added to the convenience of portability. Garstecki recommends that permanent loss of hearing could be avoided using the old-fashioned headphones or noise-canceling headphones that “eliminate background noise". As per Garstecki the use of noise-canceling phones means that listeners need not crank up the volume and thereby avoid any damage to their hearing.

The ear buds are placed directly inside the ear, which is why they are capable of far more damage than those that rest on the ear. But Garstecki's advise is reminiscent of the response elicited by Walkmans and portable CDplayers in the '80s. But the fact is that more and more devices provide in ear audio signals from mobile phone hands-free head sets to music playingdevices. Garstecki suggests, “We`re seeing the kind of hearing loss in younger people typically found in aging adults. ”.

Garstecki says, “Unfortunately, the ear buds preferred by music listeners are even more likely to cause hearing loss than that associated with the older devices”. With students often seen to be listening to music at 110 to120 decibels, it appears that the researcher may not be wrong in saying thatit is like being at a rock concert all the time. Garstecki, who is the Chairman of the Communication sciences and disorders department observes,“It's enough to cause hearing loss after only about an hour and 15 minutes”.

Garstecki proposes as a solution “the 60 percent/60 minute rule” whereby MP3 devices, iPods and such devices be used for less than an hour a day at below60 percent of the highest volume. The trade off between volume or type of headphones and time spent listening to music seems obvious. “If listeners turn the volume down further and use different headphones, they can increase the amount of time they can listen”, he says. But what is good for the youth is not necessarily fashionable with them, which even the author of the report says could “be a hard sell”.

Infection

For the past 24 hours I've been in quite some pain with an infected arm post surgery of over a week ago. It's been difficult to focus on much of anything. I hope to get back to this blog very soon.
Cathy

Not 20/20

As most of you know, eyeglasses correct your eyesight to 20/20 (in most cases). Did you know that hearing aids do not have the ability to perfect your hearing?

Cool Accent!

"Um, you're British, aren't you? I love your accent!"

"Well no, I'm not, but thank you. I happen to be hard of hearing, the reason for my speech impediment."

(I've received similar comments more times than I can remember)

Late Deafened Loss

Today I had lunch with a dear friend. This person is late deafened, which is a different type of hearing loss than I have. Our listening needs are very different, even though we are both hearing impaired. Before meeting, she requested that I pick a restaurant that is quiet. Aside from meeting well pass the busy noon crowd, I tried to think of a suitable place that would allow us easy listening, free of distractions. The cozy restaurant I chose was anything but quiet. Though just 8 people present, their voices were loud, reverberating against the hard surfaces - the walls, the floor, the ceiling. While this doesn't bother me, it did impeed my friend from hearing me adequately. People who have had good hearing, then lose it in later life, tend not to beable to read lips (or "speech read" to be politically correct). It was a struggle but we did have a nice lunch catching up the best we could with the 4 hearing impaired ears between us!

Self Assessment Hearing Test

With permission from SHHH organization-

Self Assessment Hearing Test
The onset of hearing loss is usually very gradual. It may take place over 25-30 years or it may happen more rapidly if you are exposed to loud noises at work or through hobbies. Because it usually does occur slowly, you may not even be aware you have a problem until someone else brings it to your attention. Here is a simple test you can take to determine if you have a hearing problem.
1. Do you have to turn the volume up on the television?
2. Do you frequently have to ask others to repeat?
3. Do you have difficulty understanding when in groups or in noisy situations?
4. Do you have to sit up front in meetings or in church in order to understand?
5. Do you have difficulty understanding women or young children?
6. Do you have trouble knowing where sounds are coming from?
7. Are you unable to understand when someone talks to your from another room?
8. Have others told you that you don't seem to hear them?
9. Do you avoid family meetings or social situations because you "can't understand"?
10. Do you have ringing or other noises (tinnitus) in your ears?
Scoring:
Answered Yes to less than 3 of the questions…
no significant hearing loss present
Answered Yes to between 3 and 5 questions…
you may have a slight hearing problem*
Answered Yes to between 5 and 7 questions…
you have a moderate hearing problem*
Answered to more than 7 questions…
you have a significant hearing problem*
*In order to determine the exact degree of hearing loss present, you should have your hearing evaluated by a licensed hearing professional.

Frustrations!

We all have frustrations. Yours are probably different than mine.

I can't hear water boiling (everyone knows a watched pot never boils)
Can't hear the phone ringing but can hear it on the TV! (nobody ever calls me anyway)
Can't hear in the dark (well, I hear "noises" but not understandable speech)
Can't tell if a baby is laughing or crying (both sound the same -if I can hear it at all)
Can't hear in the dark (where's that light switch?!)
Can't hear sermon (is that why some people nod off?)
Can't hear my car acting up (tune ups are important)
Can't hear voices on TV (love that closed captioning!)
Can't hear doorbell ring (love my hearing dog!)
Can't hear everyone talking at once (you too?)
Can't phone home while out (a pager would be nice)
Can't sing on key (that doesn't stop me)
Can't do yoga in a class (opened eyes spoils the meditative benefits)

Eavesdropping (wink)

Do you ever wished you could hear what someone across the room was saying? What if they are out of earshot? Just ask a lip reader to get the full gossip! Naughty? Sure. But delicious fun! Now you know why the sport coaches now hide in the huddle with players while explaining extricate important plays. Lip readers are indeed becoming quite skilled! Just don't ask me to tell you what the irate coach is screaming to the referee during a bad call!

Giving Thanks to God

It only seems appropriate on this day that I should give thanks to God. For what you may ask? I'm hearing impaired - I have a disability! I know in my heart that he loves me and made me for what I am. There is much to be grateful for. Knowing HIM gives me to courage and strength to face whatever obstacles come my way. I believe being pure and whole is not being free of disabilities, but means putting all our trust in Jesus Christ, His Son.
God Bless

Look Ma - No cords! (The day I lost my body aid)

For 30 years I wore a body style hearing aid, the most powerful instrument available for my profound hearing loss. Through the years I wore various aids which were comparable in size to a small transistor radio. In the 1980's technology was advancing to the point where ear level aids (aka behind the ear) were developed enough to provide adequate power (sound) for people like me. My dear and trusted audiologist, Cathy Bieri Ryan, convinced me that I should progress to this "miracle in a little package" (my terminology!) This little powerhouse freed me from wearing the "metal box resting on my chest" connected by a long cord to my ear "button" receiver. I felt freedom! That night when my husband hugged me, I was elated. No more pain from squeezing that hard hearing aid against my ribs!

HEARING WITH MY EYES

I'm a natural born lip reader. What does this mean?
When a hearing person is pre-lingual (before speech) he/she is hearing sounds and words to help them learn to speak. For me, I was hearing nothing, just dead silence, but my eyes saw words being formed on my mother's lips. Thus was the beginning of lip reading, my language. To this day I still depend on my eyes for communication. I'm so thankful for my eyes.

To Tell or Not to Tell?

I love meeting new people. The excitement of learning who they are, their interests, and just sharing interesting talk makes me feel alive. However the communication doesn't always move along smoothly due either to my faulty enunication or my ability to understand their speech. There may be an awkward moment with polite nodding/smiling of silence. I've been guilty of keeping my deafness a secret, I'm loath to admit. For what purpose? Am I ashamed of my hearing impairment? Am I robbing the person the ability to learn, understand, and yes, even empathsize with this disability? Past experience has shown me that when people learn of my hearing impairment, they often begin to talk differently to me. They might talk louder or maybe slower, or worse yet, talk in simple words as if I was retarded! Naturally you can imagine how that gets my bristles up. If age brings wisdom, then I can say that now I'm more likely to clue in my conversationalist while asking to repeat the conversation. I've learned that most people are understanding and caring. It's my job to tell them what I need; to educate them in how to communicate effectively (or at least, they best they can). Now what's so hard about that?
I'm reminded of the story -if you see a blind person trying to cross the street, you should not take their hand to cross with them but instead first ask if they need assistance.

TOPICS TO WHET YOUR APPETITE

Future topics to whet your appetite
The following topics will not appear in this order
Who am I? (Dec. 7th entry)
The invisible handicap
Hiding behind masks
Deaf or blind?
To tell or not to tell?
Hearing with my eyes
Thanks to my parents and teachers (oral training)- why it's better
Tullio's Phenomenon
Tinnitus
I'm not ignoring you!
Phones!
The begining of my 2nd new life
Help she's deaf! Now what?
On being lonely (am I the only one like me?)
Eavesdropping
Talk to your baby
Do you hear what I say?
Reading is important for deaf (vocabulary builder)
Look Ma - no cords!
Deaf and dumb?
Frustrations!
Secret love signals
A shave please?
My hearing guide dog
Do hearing people get tired ears?
Eye to eye
It's not your fault
What language are you speaking?
What limitations??!!!
Not 20/20
Reading body language
Protect your ears!
Misery in the dark
Is it worth the fight?
One ear or two?

Who am I?

Being born profoundly hearing impaired, I was educated in the oral method rather than being taught sign lanuage as my method of communication. I use "deaf" with a small "d" to not be confused with Deaf as is commonly associated with Deaf Culture. My blog will focus on the life I know - being deaf in a hearing world using the spoken (oral) language.
I'm Cathy, wife and mother of 2 grown kids. I've been married to my hearing husband for 37 years. Our kids and 4 grandkids all have excellent hearing (although I sometimes wonder! :) I love scrapbooking (my newest hobby) along with reading, biking, swimming, and sewing which is my vocation as well as a hobby. Although I've lived in MI all my life, I now share life in FL in winters. My identity is first as a woman, a mother and wife, and as a deaf person. Everyday I face challenges of communicating with my eyes, ie. having to read lips to totally understand the spoken word.